After lunch yesterday, I sat on the couch with him and played a little. I rubbed his ears, told him how silly and beautiful he was, scratched his belly a little. I crossed the room. I was doing dishes when I heard the sound of him staggering. I wish I'd never seen that. I think it was a stroke. I caught him. He never fell.
I couldn't carry him to the van and I couldn't get the back seats out of the van myself anyway. I just held him. I stayed wrapped around him, talking to him. I thought he would die then. My husband raced home from work to help me and we took my Drive to the vet.
There was too much damage.
I wanted him outside. He loved to lay in the sun. We took him outside on a stretcher and I got on the ground with him and held him. I stroked his bunny-soft neck and I kissed his ear and told him how silly and beautiful he was. "You are the best dog, son. You did everything right."
He was smiling. He was smiling and looking into my eyes. He was so peaceful.
I don't know what I'll do without him.
 |
| He carried my heart. |
run free sweet boy...... you were loved so much but such a wonderful family....... I'm so sorry that you had to leave them yesterday, I hope they can be strong......
ReplyDeletemy heart is aching for you in your painful place .
ReplyDeleteAlisha, my heart has just broken at this news and the sweet boy is constantly in my thoughts. Your words have brought me to tears and I empathize with you at this sad time. Love, aunt Sue xxx
ReplyDeleteI am crying as I type this.... I am so so so sorry for your pain.
ReplyDeleteAll my love - from Winnie the Greyhound's mum
He will always be with you in spirit Alisha. Through you He touched so many lives including mine. I will miss him too but I know not nearly as much as you. What a beautiful stamp he has left behind on so many hearts......... Thinking of you at this difficult time. Waiting for the tears to stop............Knowing so many are shedding them.........
ReplyDeleteTeressa
Alisha, The words "I am so sorry" seem like so little to say to you. I do not know you, except through your wonderful sense of humor for beautiful Drive, shared with all of us. I speak for myself and many others, who will never forget Drive, though we may have known him only through FB and his funny, touching blog. You and many other hound care takers have opened up the world of the Greyhounds and inspired many of us, who previously knew nothing of their wonderful nature. I myself, now foster retired racers, because of people like you, who share the beautiful companions. I thank you for sharing this wonderful son of yours, with all of us. I too, share your pain and cried when I heard of his passing over the Bridge way too soon. Believe me when I say our hearts are with you and we feel your pain so deeply. I hope we can all help you carry this terrible burden. Prayers be with you, from Sherry - Mini the Grey's new foster mom
ReplyDeleteThere really are no words. I hope you are OK.
ReplyDeleteI know I already told you how sorry I am, but that's all I have. There truly are no words. We love them all, but some truly do, as you say, carry our hearts. You have so beautifully conveyed how strong your bond with Drive is, what a precious creature he was. I hurt for you, but I hurt just not having him "out there" even though I never met him. I feel like I did, because of your expression of your love for him and his for you. I want to thank you for sharing that with us. *bighugs*
ReplyDeleteA stranger's dog dies and I feel as though I have lost my own dog....Drive looks so beautiful in those photos. I am shedding tears too and hope you will get over the loss quickly. I know it's no fun to lose someone you love...T_T
ReplyDeleteMy heart is breaking for you Alisha. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this.
ReplyDeleteI am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy.
Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers xx
Run free sweet Drive ♥
You were loved beyond words.....
We never want "this day". I can hardly see to type and my throat hurts from choking back tears. He certainly was special and I'll never forget meeting his silly self in Gettysburg - which I am so glad you brought him.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to know his last moments were with you and he was wrapped in the arms of love - just as he had been since he came to live with you.
Time will heal the hurt and the memories of him will last forever.
Chester's Mom ♥
I am crying so hard now, for you and for all our losses of our special babies. Bless you Alisha for being with him and holding on to him as he made his final journey. The rays of the sun lifted his spirit and freed him.. He is an angel now and joins so many of our loved babies.
ReplyDeleteJane
i am unable to hold back my tears - you were so loved on this earth and you will be in our hearts forever - especially your wonderful Mom.
ReplyDeleterun free sweet Drive ♥
Thank you for every moment you shared Drive with us. Simply, Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. Run free at the Rainbow bridge, lovely Drive. :(((
ReplyDelete♥
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this. Thank you for sharing some of Drive's life with us. Run Free.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had words to say. Echoing Tooki, I feel as though I have lost my own dog.
ReplyDeleteDrive was a beautiful boy and will be missed by us all here.
All my love you and your family.
Joe. xx
Lee told me about this post earlier today, Alisha, and I put off reading it until I thought I could handle it. So here I am. . . yet crying once again. Drive was so very, very special. All of us who have followed his Blog, his photos, and his and your posts, know this to be true. We also know how very, very much you loved him. And we know that he will always live on in your heart and in your mind. And one day, be it soon or a ways down the road. . . you will know when the time is right . . you will once again be ready to share some of your special love with another special dog. Drive would want that. ♥♥♥ Sending my love to you and your family. ♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say.
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs.
Bless his heart, and the hearts of everyone who loved him. Run free sweet Drive <3
ReplyDeleteYour words have me sobbing, my Greyhounds licking my face. I am so very sorry. Drive was very special. So are you. Run free, sweet boy, run free.
ReplyDeleteI'm crying again after reading this. Drive was bunny soft, and he was just so sweet and wonderful. I just couldn't believe it when I read about it yesterday, and I still can't. His unique perspective on the world always touched me in some way, whether it made me laugh or smile or just think about things a little. Through your words and photos, Drive made his way into a lot of hearts around the world. I am so happy that I was able to meet the two of you this year, and I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Please know that we are thinking about you!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I'm crying right along with you. It's so hard. You were with him to the very end and I hope you find comfort in that he was not alone. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for you loss. We lost our sweet Sophie suddenly last summer. The love we all have for our Greys runs so deep. You have some wonderful pictures of Drive. He was such a handsome boy. Keep all the wonderful memories close to your heart. Hugs....
ReplyDeleteYou did everything right too Ali. It was simply Drive's time to go. That you were able to help make his passing peaceful and free of fear was surely heart wrenching, but it was your final gift of love to Drive, and he felt that. His smile for you in that moment, and all that love in his eyes, was his final gift, and it was meant to comfort you. I know how much you ache for him today. A greyt loss such as this tears holes in our heart, and shreds our spirit. If there are words, or actions, or gestures that could ease this agony for you everyone of your friends and loved ones are surrounding you with them. I lit a candle in memory of your sweet boy, Drive, last night and just lit it again this evening, and every evening until it's light is done. I promise you dear Ali, that your pain will ease with time, and that you'll find a way to stitch your memories of Drive into those holes in heart, and your spirit where he will live on safely for as long as you do. Hugs for you honey, and the kids too.
ReplyDeleteI thought about you all day at work. Drive was so very special, but you know that better than any of us, and I know you were equally special to him. I felt a little crazy making that last-minute trip to Vermont last month, but I told Neil that it makes complete sense to me now, and I'm so glad I did it. Thank you for sharing your special boy with me, and everyone else that loved him. I'll continue to hold you and your family close to my heart and please know that I'm here for you my friend. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI said what I felt on your wall. I read this to my husband and both of wound up in tears. He doesn't even know who you are! But when someone's heart dog passes, I think we all feel it. We know "this day" will come.
ReplyDeleteI don't communicate a lot with all my dog friends on FB, but you are one I have. And even though we've never met, I cried yesterday at your loss, and to the loss of everyone that knew Drive and you through Facebook and this blog.
I know we all cherish the wonderment that the internet has brought us all. And the beauty in these animals that have brought us together like family. We all grieve with you. For our losses, as well as yours. Drive was truly a heart dog, with a beautiful smile and a wonderful, loving personality to match. We are very lucky to have gotten to know you both through him.
Be well, and know that we all love you, especially for the love that you gave to Drive. <3
i'm crying again...missing drive like he was my own dog...feeling your pain....so intense and heart wrenching...you did absolutely everything right by that sweet face. never was a hound so lucky to feel the love of his mumma.
ReplyDelete<3
This is the first I have visited your blog but I saw the comments on Facebook yesterday through mutual friends. I just want to say that even though I don't know you, I do share your sadness and heartache. What a beautiful, beautiful boy and a beautiful, loving post you have shared. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh so very sad. Crying as I am typing. I lost my 14yr old this past summer and she was a fawn just like Drive. It is so hard, but he is still with you everyday in spirit and the beautiful, loving memories you have.
ReplyDeleteI don't knot you, but I heard about your sad sad loss from Houndstooth. Something very similar happened to my Mum & her first Grey earlier this year so she has some idea how you feel. Just wanted to say our thoughts are with you. Deccy x
ReplyDeleteI am in shock. I don't know what to say. I can not begin to know how you feel about losing Drive and the bond you shared. I am terribly sorry.
ReplyDeleteDrive was your unmeasurable treasure and his memories will also be your unmeasurable treasure. So sorry.
ReplyDeleteThese will be some of the hardest days you'll ever have, there is no pain like that of a beloved dog leaving us. He'll always be with you, when you walk into a room and have a memory, when you see Laine do something that might have annoyed Drive, or when you eat something that you know he loved....they never leave us. Have some comfort in that you were with him, that meant a lot to him. Grieve ... give it time and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Only those of us who have lost special pets like Drive can understand the pain you're in.
ReplyDeleteHi we are stopping by from Tales and Tails. We are sorry for the loss of your beloved Drive. We never got to know Drive but we can tell he was loved so much. Treasure your memories and take it one day at a time. Prayers and Hugs, The HoundDogs and HoundDogMom
ReplyDeleteDear Drive's Mom,
ReplyDeleteOur mutual friends at Tales and Tails wrote of your loss of Drive, and although we didn't know him, we could not fail to stop by and pay our respects. Drive was obviously a very special and wonderful dog who was loved greatly, not just by you, but by all who had the opportunity to meet him in person and those who knew him from his blog. We're so sorry that he had to leave you so suddenly as he did, but at the same time are grateful, as I'm sure Drive was, that you were there with him, holding him and loving him to the very end.
Our thoughts are with you in this time of grief.
I'm so sorry that you lost Drive. I just saw this at Tales and Tails and read about Drive with tears in my eyes. What a shock to loose him so fast. What a sweet boy. I know it was hard, but I'm sure he was comforted by you being there with him. He knows how much you love him and he will always be with you and watching over.
ReplyDeleteI am so, so sorry. This has not been an easy week. He will forever remain in your heart, I can promise you that much. You both were so lucky to have found each other. To complete his journey together was a true gift that you could give to him.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself, this is not an easy time. Hugs from greyhound gardens.
I wish i could find the perfect words of comfort. But I can't even see the keyboard throughh the tears. I never even met Drive, but I feel that I know him, somehow, through reading this blog and his Facebook updates. Through our conversations about how very, very special he was to you, how very special he will *always* be to you. Words fail me. I am so, so sorry. Loving so deeply makes our loss so devastating. Thank you for sharing him with us.
ReplyDeleteI saw the news on a bloggie friend's site, and wanted to stop by and send lotsa hugs and prayers to you and your family. It's never easy when we love someone we love, especially our furry family. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteBig woofs & hugs! <3
~Bailey (Yep, I'm a girl!)
oh, i hate this. i hate hate hate pet death so much. i know that you are gutted. i am so very sorry for your loss. may he play with you in your dreams soon. i love for those moments.
ReplyDeletetake care. katy
I wanted to comment to you personally, but I did not want to intrude. Being that we share more than just our dog blogs...
ReplyDeleteThinking of you,
http://www.24pawsoflove.com/2011/10/drive.html
I am so sorry to read about your loss.
ReplyDeleteSending thoughts and prayers your way
We all know there are no words for the hurt and sadness you feel. Know that we all have been there, and know how awful you feel. We will miss Drive. Godspeed and run free.
ReplyDeleteSoft husky woooos,
ReplyDeleteRA
I am so sorry for your loss. He had such a sweet face.
ReplyDeletePeople you've never met are crying with you and praying for you right now...
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. I kept your blog in my favorites list and would pop in when I needed to smile or have a moment away from work. I thank you and Drive for that. Today, I am shedding tears for you.
ReplyDeleteDrive came to you when you needed him, and then you so generously shared him. You loved like a dog, with no bounds, and it seemed, at least to me, that I had ruffled that fur myself many times. He comes to mind for me now quite regularly. Tears well up in my eyes, and I hope you are doing as ok as possible. I know that the words and images that might comfort me might not quite fit for you. So, all I can do is express gratitude that you allowed us all to share a bit in that love between you and Drive, to enter into that world where we were silly and perfect and free.
ReplyDelete